herstrionics

i'm tired of playing dumb to your face,
but the alternative is too embarrassing. 
i have a small currency
of social cues at my disposal. my beast arms
give HUGS did you know, i try to show you when you look
like you might want to be shown.
these levers i pull pump my butt-zone to the beat.
i am gaining experience to
metastasize stronger charms.

the roses are on time this year in lincoln, nebraska.
sometimes one smells the right way to mouth on
and retreat
sputtering inedible petals.  
murmur, "depression feels like you're
secretly evil, and you MUST hide it
from everyone."

on-time too is the restless diversion,
a repeated crest that comes crashing
down in fluttering shoreline ripples,
a thrumming djembe cadence of
go go go go go go go

so don't dislove me.
grant maybe a philanthropy of inquisitive
fingers on my fissures.
i'm just a glass girl in mirror land.

and look i can say the F word all night.
so you're going to have to be fucking patient.