caught before a red name written

caught before a red name written (blossoms to their own alarms). tell me, don't all sea-clouds toss their shoulders back--a good sixty feet-- into sand that shapes a castle, flushes a coffin's edgework. so how to say shade is on something, never pointing at yourself? (where this is, having first been gauged). or as she explains it over billiards: a true cue won't match your wingspan. just tack your sails to that shaky point: your name in black is only saying you can see where the shade is rolling in

ooh noo

i am a salt.
kick up for your fun day
at the flats.

gravy filled my grave
before me.

clone my eyes
if we don't have children.

muck from one tangerine
onehundredyears rotten
will cover
everything.

make names.
i said middle smokes
to make a point.

you are this
succeeding hand
with overactive
fuck you finger.

smuttering this house
its thick drawers
open for us
a yard of scrub.

what if i am justice?
HERE I AM.
stop letting commandments have say.

i won't lie to a bird.
know the difference
between price and profit.

we pull off the
day by day ceremony.

each repeats the end.

the year is full
of the same.

i can't help but tongue it
and that will make me sick.

i used to sleep w/ ears
plunged in your noises.
i mean i did it once.

make me stronger or
shut your speaking asking off.

yes yes yes. no. yes yes yes.

beneath me you are this thick muck
what i said is "gravy"
you just kick me awake
in the middle of the night i smoke
some old stale tobacco from a drawer
i speak about what this house needs
washing from the head down
i mutter enough about my hands
never feel clean after scrubbing
i wash them again wishing
you beneath my thumbnail
how i am not some ring finger or
what if i am just a fuck you finger

i should stop letting her through
these doors before i walk in first
i am supposed to
command some presence
so i say, here i am
no i say, HERE i am
no HERE I AM i say
i don't like repeating you so
many times i tell myself the same thing
never changes or
maybe they do and i won't notice
until i die i won't have children to sit
at my grave- tell me stories
sing me a bird song that everything is
same way i left it- lie to me because i won't
know the difference between a bird

song or sleep sound the same
when i am dreaming i think
about some little boy too weak
he pulls only one tangerine
of the tree each day by the end
the year is full of rotten berry juice
i can't help but drink it
it will make me stronger or
make me sick of donuts
you repeat yourself about
some sugar on the corners
my mouth says where?
your tongue points it out shutting me down
when did you stop asking questions
when did you start speaking in bubbles
maybe it was last Spring
i hardly knew you then Spring came
i hardly know you
except
by the flowers you keep
which i've never seen so i make names
each petal & each stem
your kitchen is so crowded w/
all the plant families every morning
always packing up to move into the sunshine
state of mind i'm in

jelly filled donut dreams
i used to think all this dough worthless
used to pity all the empty insides
so we filled them
w/ gravity
w/ sleep
w/ ears
w/ feelings
eating as much shit as we could
becoming extra calories
of imperfections of boring
what i said is
i just cannot repeat myself
again i just said i cannot repeat
myself is so afraid of pushing tin
succeeding alone & having no one
to thank

at some over priced award ceremony
the clock just keeps moving in place
even when i turn my back to it
even after onehundredyears
when i close my eyes at it
& repeat myself
i like to ask what time is it
in some country i've never loved
you always know &
never get mad at repeating yourself
oceans don't have time zones
i am not salty enough
to be an ocean i can sting

washing self is just like
please wash me in the ocean
i mean please / i am self / make me clean
religion get high conversion complex
fuck amerika washing
i'm tired of washing
getting to be shiny boy facing the earth
with a shiny cape shiny skin shiny face
do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?
do i linger low in yr mind?
my smell sometimes popping up
am i low lingerer?
rocker
phase skimmer
in some ditch
crying in the ditch bottom wondering
can anybody see me?
am i a low lingerer?
do my feelings matter?
am i selfish?
am i bad?
am i wrong?
i h8 livin
in fuckin garbage
i mean i don't wanna be muck roller
idgi it p
it seems fucked up
who wants to be sad
& dirty / all the god damn time
not me
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
this is NO
this is called NO
this is called NO

this is called NOW

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i wa
can't keep trying blurt
fuck fuck fu

#######################

feeeeeel different now but i still don't like donuts
i mean i love donuts but i usually buy sugar donuts
i used to go to a donut place with this girl i dated we would
go to the place and eat donuts together and lick the sugar off each other's mouths
some love physical comfort sugar shelter shower on the way to the middle of some
weird misery
that we
inflicted
on each other
is that
all
there is
i guess it's
okay
beautiful
i bought
cheap roses too
now i'm building
gravity w/
my feelings
& feeling crashing result

WHAT I SAID IS:
please let me swallow
all the juice on earth
& let me try stuff
~i don' tlike being hurt & i want you to be my friend~

spring is the world
spring is the world
spring is the world
spring is the world
spring is the world

it's basically true that i can't hear the difference
between a bird song
& the sound of thunder
we all experience color differently
we all basically see the same shit but w/ slight variations
i don't know what i'm writing abt
i had a dream where i was smoking again
when i woke up i felt like a broken
fearful boy
who can't
do anything
right
& i just
need someone t
o
make my food for
me
too
etc

y/n?

drop a sleeper as one form of washing self
keep a linger low skimmer in some ditch bottom

what if rolling around in muck was as good
as it gets
nulled
self into a bright donut in some shelter shower
on the way to the middle, polishing
a four dollar rose stem to fit the corona and build
gravity

but that's not
what you said, was it
thick & wet with berry juice
while Spring is in the world

in the apogee of sleep
ears cannot decide the birdsong
from trailing off rolls of thunder

I told you a dream that split in two,
spread some jelly on your toast
and asked your plans for
the day cutting off the crusts.