LISTENING TO PEOPLE TALK ABOUT PEOPLE FROM FAR AWAY

feared nowhere
not a lot to care abt
ur hurt
ur slow squirt
my hands bloody
from jacking-off rose stems
i like location
i like subjugating the beautiful morons in my brain

fix me
i don't know how to put together
my drool is so sticky
i love to feel nothings creep into my blood
talk to each second of my everywhere
hello so so i am right always
i am in the middle of blah blah
find me

flip past my fatass-someone last chance
to run after a bus-someone i call you in the middle
of the night when i am drunk-someone
who the hell am i
man
i have just wanted to be in love w/ someone
for so fucking long i think it is a joke
a doke
toke
the smoking glass pipe-house-someone hid me
i am so strong
made of drying drug bones
scattered in meta poems abt closets
like who the hell am i
standing here
thinking i am going to write
another poem
for that girl
that i am in love w

shit
save me
i am moonman made of mooncheese
pissing sideways
my whole life ahead of me & also
crazy directions like everwherestorm
i am sorry i am leaving the poem
let me get back
onto
your words

but like i s'd
i don't even want to be happy
if it means  you are not happy
i don't even want to die
if it means you will die
i guess i am immortal too
i guess this is just the beginning of my whole new life
or maybe i will go see Cloud Atlas by myself
& forget abt what i am supposed to do
or spend money
or spend science
or spend disease
or spend my meaningful vote on a man who was once a child

& cried
& maybe talked to some god
like a crazy person
bc all kids are just crazy people
tiny crying scared monsters hoping to fall in love
w/ someone
i mean nobody wonders
what the point in being scared is
curled up ball or scared to jump off the bridge
because some square made it sound stupid

i say yes to the poem
i don't see
i don't know where the someone goes
or dear or darling or no duh
this girl is talking abt how The Real World
is not the real world
bc the real world is this ".................."
& i am like
IDK
i think the real world is